Enchantress21

poem i just wrote

2002-08-13T09:36:53Z

the breeze gently laps over his skin
guided in through the window.
softly summery scented
it kisses the moist flesh.
I sigh.
tender seconds surrender,
to the inevitable light.
the early morning dawn burns my eyes.
squinting to see,
I fumble to find his touch.
blind, squirming, securing
I anchor in
savoring the final moments.

i just felt like writing a poem so i just opened up livejournal and clicked update and wrote basically what came to me. no insperation really. it's very sexual. Funny that i should write about this. it's kinda like a blind person describing what the ocean looks like. sigh

enchantress21 @ 2002-08-01T17:10:00

2002-08-02T00:15:44Z

In lui of recent 'comments' in my journal by a few know-it-alls (a few of them quite nasty) ... i will not be making my journal 'friends only'!!!! I've met alot of great people here through them commenting in my journal in the past. These people who have been posting in the last few days DON'T KNOW ME, DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL AND THEREFORE DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT TO MAKE COMMENTS AS THOUGH THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY DO!!! I have a right to write about whatever i feel in my OWN journal - without being judged or belittled. Contrary to how i may sound writing this i am not mad per-se I am just annoyed!!! I will leave the comments up because i think they are pretty lame and I'd like other people to see that too.

enchantress21 @ 2002-06-11T23:36:00

2002-06-12T06:39:15Z

Totals for Tuesday June 11
cals 903
fat 10
carb 188
protein 32

Tomorrow I am going to weigh myself and do my measurments and all that!

my throat is sore

spiderman

2002-06-11T00:48:40Z

I have a spider trapped under a glass right beside my computer.
this thing is creeping me out, ..... i don't want to deal with it though. I suppose it can stay there until the next person comes to use the computer.
And I'll stay safe.

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-26T10:50:00

2002-05-26T18:03:30Z

I painted my eyes, my lips, my finger nails
I bleached my hair, I tanned my skin
I skipped breakfast, I skipped lunch ... I skipped breakfast!!!
All so I could fit into these perfect-size jeans
My stomache is empty because they secretly want it to be
My mind is empty because he secretly wants it to be
My soul is empty because I secretly want it to be
I have conformed, I have abandoned, I have comprimised
But damn I look good!!!
Why isn't anybody looking at me???

another poem i wrote. may 26/02

Perfect

2002-05-26T06:16:38Z

Her body quakes
Heaped upon the tepid linoleum
Her eyes blindly fixated on her giant shadow
Cast by a perched flame which dances upon its waxen pedestal
Dry eyes blink
Momentary drought
Her throat stinging
Her fingers clawing the breath from her neck
Gagging and gasping
Her hand grazes over her bones,
That protrude from her ashen skin
A sick smile crosses her lips
She is perfect now

well folks ....

2002-05-26T03:05:28Z

Calories for today: 546
fat: 10g
carbs: 97g
protein: 18g

that's enough

i'm really not that much of a britney fan ... but it sure seems that way lol

2002-05-15T04:33:46Z

You’re Britney Spears! Face it, ya got it made. You’re sexy and popular, and have tons of people craving to be you. Sure, you’ve got some enemies out there, but you’ve also got a lot of people wishing they were with you. You’re the kind of person who knows you’re hot, and you’re not afraid to go all out to prove it.

What Kind of Pop Princess Are You? Quiz by Jonah

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-14T21:24:00

2002-05-15T04:30:17Z

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-14T21:17:00

2002-05-15T04:23:14Z

Which Woman of Beauty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-14T21:12:00

2002-05-15T04:18:19Z

</a>

Who's SCREAM Do You Posess?
Quiz by Steph or Steph

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-10T15:41:00

2002-05-10T22:42:08Z

is it worth it?

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-09T22:34:00

2002-05-10T05:35:32Z

sigh .... i'm tired

of everything

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-06T23:33:00

2002-05-07T06:53:07Z

I borrowed this quiz from a cool chika on my friends list ... I quite enjoy filling these things out

I WANT ~ to be beautiful, to be loved, to be skinny
I WISH ~ I were beautiful, loved and skinny. I also wish that I make something great out of my life and that I am sucessful and happy and enjoy it.
I LOVE ~ my family, my friends, my dogs, life sometimes.
I HATE ~ mean people, myself at times, being unhappy
I MISS ~ being a kid sometimes, old friends
I FEAR ~ not being happy, dying, hurting,
I SEE ~
I HEAR ~ words, music
LAST TIME YOU SMILED? ~ tonight
LAUGHED? ~ tonight
BOUGHT SOMETHING? ~ today (gum @ the store)
DANCED?~ hmmm - it's actually been a while
GOT HAMMERED? ~ oh god - actually not since new years .. man i really need to go get drunk
HUGGED SOMEONE? ~ last week
HAD A NIGHTMARE? ~ can't remember
LAST THING YOU READ: what we keep
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW ON THE BIG SCREEN: the sweetest thing
LAST PHONE NUMBER YOU CALLED: gym actually
LAST SHOW YOU WATCHED ON TV: Notting Hill
LAST SONG YOU HEARD: some alicia keys song in MM
LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK: water
YOU ATE? crackers w/peanut butter and strawberry jam (yeesh)
------Do You...-------

SMOKE?~ nope
HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND?: No ... what's lame is i've never really had
HAVE A DREAM THAT KEEPS COMING BACK? no
REMEMBER YOUR FIRST girlfriend/boyfriend: nope
STILL LOVE HIM/HER?
HAVE BISEXUAL OR LESBIAN/GAY FRIENDS? ~ yep
BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? ~ yeah
BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE TO REMAIN FAITHFUL FOREVER? yeah
LIKE THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL? ~ yes
BELIEVE IN GOD? ~ yeah
HAVE ANY SECRETS? ~ yes
HAVE ANY PETS? ~ 2 dogs
GO TO OR PLAN TO GO TO UNIVERSITY? yep
WEAR HATS?: no
HATE YOURSELF? ~ yes lots
HAVE A BEST FRIEND? yeah
HAVE ANY BAD HABITS? not really
CARE ABOUT LOOKS? ~ yep
TRUST OTHERS EASILY? ~ somewhat
LIKE SARCASM? - yes
TAKE WALKS IN THE RAIN? ~ sometimes .. it's really great actually - very poetically romantic
KISS WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED? ~yes sometimes
SING IN THE SHOWER? ~yeah
OWN HANDCUFFS? ~no
HAVE ANY SCARS? yes on my knee, on my hand & a few others

total for monday may 6

2002-05-07T06:34:09Z

calories: 1038
fat: 20
carbs: 160
protein: 63

pretty fuckin' disapointed is all i can say :(

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-05T22:23:00

2002-05-06T05:23:44Z

What is YOUR Highschool label?

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-05T22:09:00

2002-05-06T05:12:25Z

Cals for today =705
fat=16
carbs=112
protein=34

I am defiantely NOT full! I wonder if I should just eat eat eat today and start up fresh tomorrow!! ???
p.s. I didn't gain - didn't lose today - crossing my fingers for a little loss tomorrow!!!

total cals for Saturday

2002-05-05T07:37:08Z

well ended up going for coffee with my best friend- we had a long chat and a bunch of calories! I had an iced cappuccino(made with milk not cream) and a low-fat rasberry muffin! It boosted my cals up to 1000 :( I gues i won't being seeing that scale go down tomorrow! -- I HOPE I DON'T GAIN! God .. why didn't I stop at 500!! grrrrr
anyhow to spite my bitchin' and complaining I am pretty happy - I missed my girl and we had a good laugh - that muffin was pretty dam good too! I just wish I could look forward to a loss tomorrow morning -- the sooner that scale goes down the better .. the summer is fricken' like right around the corner - ok I'll stop now I'm depressing myself! tomorrow will be better - a fast and workout is on agenda - can't wait :)

Total cals today :1009
fat: 12
Carbs: 193
protein: 40

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-04T19:09:00

2002-05-05T02:09:40Z

I am so full !!! :( but i did well! It's 7:00 and I am done for today
Total Cals eaten today579
Total fat 9
total carbs 96
total protein 32

2.5 down 34 to go

2002-05-04T17:07:22Z

well stepped on the scale this morning ... almost couldn't wait! I love losing :) anyhow the scale read 159 down from 161.5 yesterday morning!! yay!!
saturday may 4 - weight 159
starting weight (may 3) 161.5
goal weight -125
goal date august 10
according to fitday i need to lose 2.43lbs per week
percentage lost of target lbs 7%

enchantress21 @ 2002-05-03T22:53:00

2002-05-04T06:00:32Z

twice what i had planned - still very very good! Here is my intake for the day:
319cals
2g fat
66 carbs
13g protein

fresh start

2002-05-04T02:15:43Z

doing super well today :) recouping after last night's binge! I have had 2 sugar free jello cups today (10cals) and a few slices of cucumber (under 10 cals) I plan on topping my day off with a low cal shake made with 4oz skim milk water and half serving of slim fast!! Total cals for this day (according to fitday) should be 117cals! This would make for a very good day!!! Tomorrow I plan on 3shakes and thats it -no solids and sunday a water fast! I was going to work out today but things came up and i couldn't ... I will tomorrow though!! I think i'll alternate for the next little while - 1 day shakes only + working out to counteract those cals and the next day waterfasting!!! I need to be skinny this summer!! I need it desperatly!!! My weight this morning was 161.5!! Hopefully I'll be down at least a lb or so tomorrow. My first goal is 140lbs (down 20) i'm hoping to accomplish that by june sometime - my next goal is 125 (down 15) by August sometime! I think this is possible! I have decided to reward myself BIG TIME when I reach these goals!!!! 140lbs = hair extensions (I really want long sexy hair to go with the new look i'll have ... but they cost $$$$$$) whatever that willl be my reward! And when I reach 125 I will get a belly button peircing and a pair of desiner super low jeans!!! Can't hardly wait!!!!!

binge binge binge binge binge binge binge binge binge binge binge .... BINGE !!!!!!

2002-05-03T05:38:02Z

what the fuck !!!!!!!!

Survey

2002-04-29T03:03:17Z

Hey guys here's a little survey i got that i thought i'd post on here!! It's interesting to see where everyone else is at, goals etc. So copy and paste to your own entry :)

Name on here: enchantress21
age: 22
height: 5'6"
weight: 159
highest weight: 160 :( *so ashamed
lowest weight: 125 in high school 140 before i developed an ED
Goal weight: 120
Goal date: by August 120 (or less) by may 140
how long have you had an ED: *2 years* but i am doing sooo bad now ... my weight is at highest ever!! :(
How often do you exercise: now 3 days or so a week ... but i'm increasing to 6
how long do you exercise: usually 45min - 1 hour
what's the most you've lost in a short amount of time: 10 lbs
how long did it take you: 3weeks
how did you do it: i was working so much ... too busy to eat :) eating less than 500cals a day
how much have you gained in short amount of time: 15 lbs
how long: over 2 months :(
what type of ED do you have: was bullimic for a while but stopped when i realized it was doing more harm than anything ... I restrict but haven't for a while ... I guess I'm just dieting obsessed!!!!!!
how many calories do you have on average each day: anywhere from 500-600- to 1200-1500 :(
how long have you been a member of this community: about 6 months or so

enchantress21 @ 2002-04-01T20:01:00

2002-04-02T01:06:29Z

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